7kamals

2005-03-21T15:14:00.000+05:30

"I would like you to know that if you're ever single in the future and you want to come visit me in california I would be open to spending time with you and finding out how old you were when you wrote your first song"
Alanis, Unsent.

- of self NESS

2005-02-11T01:11:00.000+05:30

everyone can be so unthoughtful sometimes and its so easy to be.
its difficult to be nice - i guess.
but you can - its just what you choose to do and be.
being busy is just an excuse - cuz where there is a will there IS a way.
and that might sound Cliche (rhymes with the previous line)
BUT ITS TRUE.
... i think people should take sometime out and be more careful.

i heard this and i like it .......

2005-02-09T22:14:00.000+05:30

A burp is a misdirected FART!!!

BORING OFFICE

2005-02-09T01:24:00.000+05:30

this office has lost its value.
One friend down and another one to go
"will we still be friends after you go"
OF COURCE we will.
we will willy winkie.
miss you Kiran.
am in the night shift cuz the day SUCKS!!!
i plan to quit soon too.
if you want more T shirts made- you know you can ask me.
nice it was on the 4th having dinner, did you know Manju had to push his Bike all the way home :-)

colours of fall

2005-02-09T00:49:00.000+05:30

- multi bliss tablets FOR SALE.
who buys what and who calls the names.
i wonder how it would look - this town painted BLACK.
sit in a yellow auto - feel like jumping up in front and taking the wheel.
i wish i could be an auto driver and i wish that made me happy.
i wish my red jacket was a HUGE big ball.
telephone on table - head set on head - yellow pen in front and hands on a keyboard instead.
this silly life of mine - this silly little heart on a sillier little head.
easily touched and easily wounded.
brown book on table with messages from SMS`s.

found lost

2005-02-07T20:33:00.001+05:30

open door and the air of you.
not here but in thought so true.
white and purple flowers hang unwatered.
empty room and clothes of you.
drained out.
long for touch.
long for lunch.
Tea tastes tasteless - made for self and unwanted.
Empty steel glass.
Vacant side of bed.
No reason to wake up,
No smile to smile back to.
All mine, circles around the pressence of you.

full on emo

2005-02-02T14:44:00.000+05:30

how does it feel when someone special has to go away for over a month
- it feels HORRIBLE!!!!
never felt like this ever.
i remember having to say goodbye in a lot of important situations - like after school - we knew we were never going to see each other again and i was Alright - i remember Catherine crying -
i remember a lot of other stories now but i`ve never felt like im feeling now.
im going to work today to distract me - i could get a casual Leave and i was asked if i was SURE i want to work cuz i look so Messed up im sure - i AM.
i said Yes ill work.
i came in LATE - forgot my ACCESS card - has never happened in 2 years!!!!
*sigh*
i understand its imp. that the One and a Half Month trip is made - its filled with opportunity.
i need to learn to Let Go i think - i need to be stronger - i was such an Emotional Wreck last night - im still staggering there -

??????

2005-01-31T15:06:00.000+05:30

- this is not right anymore - im remembering FIGHT CLUB.
saby???? - i guess he did manage to annoy me - point is ignoring was too easy
well please dont mess my blogg up
I request you to ...... just leave your self to your self
i dont need to hear your wise ass ness
Thank you
STAY AWAY!!!!
its fun to lose and to pretend.

Dear SABY Baby Baby Baby ....

2005-01-28T19:13:00.000+05:30

im just going thru my Blog and guess what ?? i have someone doing the NOSE POKE :-) someone i dont know and someone who i dont give a fuck about .... im thinking
*BUTT MUNCH* - its so funny how some people seem to have so much to say sitting behind a screen they are typing words onto.Would like to see you RAPE me with your intellect Face to Face - wonder how much you will have to say standing right in front of me.
do i smell INSECURITY and a dersperate need to SAY SOMETHING to PROVE that you are better than the rest.
it STINKS of it!!!!
How you make me laugh SABY BABY - i dont even know you and your existence is irrelavant - you make me shake my head in Dis Belief ??????
- it bothers me that people like you exist.
do you sit in a room all by yourself and think of funny things to say - do you write them out on pieces of paper so you wont forget and finally squeeze in and say it and make everybody LAUGH - not because its funny but because you are so STUPID or do you just sit around and Masturbate ALL DAY ????
????? i dont know - im just wondering - why did you even comment on my blog - what made you check my page out - WHAT are you???
did you say im full of shit - well it wasnt me leaving comments on YOUR blog.
GROW THE FUCK UP.
happy days SABY BABY
happy days to you.

Oh ho ho ho ho ho

2005-01-20T20:30:00.000+05:30

lime and puri sev`d
got the green peace greet
girl on table stares
girl on table smiles
must be the safety pin ignite
:-)

- happy and not

2005-01-11T21:59:00.000+05:30

met my god sons dad today :-)
- NORMAL is such a empty word - nothing in it at all.
thats actually realised when you KNOW something is NOT normal and the pressure it builds within you almost choking is not very nice - feel like mother HELPLESSNESS!!!!
Joel - my godson is a SPECIAL (thats in quotes) child - he is mentally and physically 2-3 years younger than he really is.
i dont like it at all - and i feel even worse now cuz there is nothing that i can do.
NOTHING!!!!!
- i dont know what to say - and that obviously goes to show that i am not affected.
WRONG!!!!
i am - and there is still NOTHING that i can say about it.

i sent him a present (little elephants hanging one below the other)- something for him to keep in his room.
and i also enclosed a letter that i wrote in Dec 2003 -
he is so imp to me -
last time i met him (he is German - they came down to visit) - i gave him my Coco Cola Truck - its something i grew up with and it was difficult giving it away - but he played with it in my Cafe and seemed to really like it so i decided to give it to him.
God Bless Joel - and anyone who reads this - Please say a short prayer for him.

Little King BUTT

2005-01-10T23:50:00.000+05:30

hollow - such a horrible word!!!

2005-01-10T21:44:00.000+05:30

...bad feeling...
not nice at all - HOLLOW.
losing something is so heavy on your heart - it weighs down everything!!!
they say YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOU GOT TILL ITS GONE
very true - its just worse when you KNOW WHAT YOU GOT and you LOSE it!!
life stabs so deep sometimes and it bleeds sorrow.
this is a song i heard a very long time ago by a very Cheesy Band called -HANSON (*giggle*) BUT i think the words
are appropriate for the topic today -
Tanya lost her grandmother and this song is about the same thing...

* if i`m gone when you wake up
Please don't cry
And if I'm gone when you wake up
Please don't sigh
Don't look back at this time as a time
Of heartbreak and distress
Remember me, remember me
CAUSE I`LL BE WITH YOU IN YOUR DREAMS
I'll be with you,

I don't want you to cry and weep,
I want you to go on living your life
I'm not sleeping an endless sleep,
'Cause in YOUR HEART
YOU HAVE ALL OF OUR GOOD TIMES*

...now i`d like to change the BackDrop here - cuz its getting too stuffy -
i removed all the OHs and the AHs in the song along with the lines that repeat themselves - it loses its message like that i guess- NO!!! i dont need to guess - I`m SURE!!!!
well -- be happy everyone - be comforted - find hope in all the shit pools - just dont swim in it - and if you do - use a lot of DEO before approaching anyone/anything.
:-)

change of manes(NAMES)

2005-01-09T15:11:00.000+05:30

officially taken from the official book of ANTHONY

what is my mane??
my name is Rikan = KIRAN
my name is Sonben = BENSON
my name is Tho+Ny+Ant = Gunnasandi = ANTHONY (lopasandi akesha lopasandi)
my name is Yashvantpura Tunak,tunak NAKTU = TANYA
my name is Name
who??
HENG GA MINI!!!
Fuck you!!
who the Fuck is HENG GA MINI ??
I DONT KNOW
who the fuck is I DONT KNOW??
i dont know pa - go ask HEMANGINI.

do the HAST and some shit like that.......

2005-01-09T14:35:00.000+05:30

issues issues and issues - that seems to be the only ISSUE from Friday - its Sunday today - and right now i dont really care what anyones ISSUES are - they can go gargle concrete or go kiss a truck or go put their heads in a KAMOD and flush...
!!! ?????
!!!!!!
you must be wondering what the fuck im talking about?
- well im sure you`ve felt like this -
sometimes you are comfortable with something and then other people may not be - you dont know whether its you who is the reason for them acting strangely or whether they are just caught up with their own issues -??
time and tide can go so well together with situations sometimes-it makes things more psyched and complicated than they already are....
well in my case at some point or the other i address it and abviously you will get positive replies cuz no one likes to admit they are acting strange specially if they are for really NO REASON or Self Indulgance
am i getting intense here??
anyway like i said I really dont care right now- and in a few days everything will be fine as usual - like Life always does -
*sigh*
im only working half the day today - :-) - just got it settled.
will message Tanya now and go meet her- help her shift - it will be nice to have our own private place ----

part of the Tu naka

2005-01-07T21:54:00.000+05:30

wanted this to be a part of the tu nak tu nak tun Tanya but it somehow slipped my mind

*Believe in me because I don't believe in anything
and I want to be someone to believe*
- from the Counting Crows song Mr JONES.

tu nak tu nak tun Tanya

2005-01-07T20:01:00.000+05:30

- this is going to be about a girl :-)
about a girl (nirvana - heard of that song???) - nice one cant remember the lyrics though.
ah! so i met her when i went (forced) to supposedly sketch at a fuck all co-operate party and i hate ordinary parties as well - so you can imagine how this one was - it was DIRTY :-) (over expression *giggle*)
- come to think of it i had a feeling something nice was going to happen that night even before the chick walked in....
well then she did (walk in) and i remember her walking in very cleary - her sweater caught my attention - she went over and sat down almost opp to where i was - in almost the same position - i thought she was Sexy (she was covered completely and i still thought that !!!! - i dont usually pay attention to such issues - very Psyched this whole thing seems to be - i also thought id go over to her and say DO YOU WANNA HAVE SEX!!!
what the fuck was wrong with me - i cant believe myself and i cant believe im talking about it .... very strange this is ... it must have been the Pissed offness i got from the sick party - wait a minute - I am trying to put the blame on something else.
i will not - maybe i AM a pervert - but i dont feel the same way when i see naked women or other things like that - really !! except for madonna in that video with the cowboys- i mean i might get tuned on but i dont really find anyone else in this world as sexy as Tanya- ???? - i AM strange i guess.this is turning out to be a Confession !!!!
i dont know how tanya will react when she reads this - psyched it will be.
and then i saw her with the DJ sipping some Drink and nodding to shitty DJ music - i though SHE DOES NOT FALL IN---- DOES NOT FIT IN but she was nodding very well like most DJ fuck all music fans.
so then im really bored and pissed off!! and she comes over with her friend and they want to see what im doing - i was sketching some shit - using CRAYOLLA (kiran had just given me a pack a few days ago)and some colour pencils on A4 paper (!!!)
and they just look at it - Tanya looks at it and i can tell she has thoughts running thru her head - so i ask her something and she says I studied ART for 4 yrs ( she did the finger thing for Quotes when she said ART :-) made me smile )
...and im already doing something so i carry on Ah! yes i was making a sketch of the DJ - a very cheesy sketch - yeah so im carrying on and i ask her to sit down and join me - she hesitates at first and then decides to do the needful -I HAVE BETTER PAPER she says and walks away to get it - comes back with a sort of note book/sketch pad with different coloured papers - i briefly go thru existing sketches and think SHE IS GOOD - Better than me!!! so she settles down and decides to sketch me - i notice her slippers and think ( COOL!!! )- her friend comes over and serves her a drink ( same drink she was later drinking while she nodded to the shitty music - or did she have another one??(Drink))
then she finishes and decides to go back to where she was.
did not really think anything of the whole encounter - was good nothing else -
i did know that we could be good friends though - something about us was NICE.
then i suddenly decide to draw her- made something very Psycho with her footwear et all - she says it was Good AND i give her my NUMBER ( second time so far - for whatever reasons) - the first time was after i saw this chick a couple of times and she was being very Hinty and i Kind of liked her - so i gave her a christmas present (CUZ IT WAS CHRISTMAS) and put my number in... *shrugg* - but this is the first time i gave my number the moment i met someone and i still dont know what made me do it!!!
it must have been the Universe and Mother Nature and all the rest :)
anyway so then random things happened and cell phones were very responsible and i`ll say that out LOUD - it was the CELL PHONES.
i went to Pondi and we were almost constantly messaging - and thought processes were similar - we`d be typing a message and we`d get one and stuff like that - very very
freak outing :-)
- then i came back from Pondi and she went to Goa and she came back we met and then we met for lunch and then that same evening we Kissed - and if this was not the Universe, mother nature and her Gang - then im still dreaming -
- now we are officially Girl and Boy friend to each other and we`ve been psyched and disturbed and mentally fucked by each other and we are still here...
im in the night shift and she works - well she is supposed to be at work by 10 but she is forever late - and her waking up is the most difficult thing - i actually find it cute but it can be VERY annoying too.
so she works till about 8pm - and its been 3 days in my night shift and she has come back for lunch everyday - such a darling and today something about her X`s came up and she said NOW YOU`LL GET PSYCHED and i would have a few weeks ago - but i think i know where we stand NOW and i really dont care -
i said I WONT - Free Will - FREE WILLY - everyone is free to Decide and to Choose
what i meant was - we have something special and if you choose otherwise - you are free to and i WILL not even try to stop you - cuz the whole thing will only come up cuz one of us does not Find anything Special in what we have anymore.
so she asked me if i believed in US and if i believed in her - i said i did not believe in anything and she was taken aback - well of course - my mental cave talking can go over board sometimes - but i meant something that im sure she would say too.
anyway i felt a little bad - actually i felt really Bad cuz for her it meant that i did NOT Trust her - she agreed she was overreacting but i guess i over did it too - i hope she is alright - we spoke and it feels alright - i can be such a guttermouth - i did not mean Half of what it sounded like though.
i love her :-)

bollocks cart

2005-01-06T22:30:00.000+05:30

:-)
i think i like this whole BLOGGER thing - Bloggers up Ya!!
writing is fun specially when typed like this :-)
come to think of it a CART of Bollocks would be pitiful - very pitiful but im sure the circumSIZED lot would be able to relate to this CART :-)
at least imagining how it would look would be easy - maybe even the pain can be imagined better.
....Horrible!!!!!!!!
Pig Bollocks comes to my mind now- it had something - actually EVERYTHING to do with a play that a friend was acting in and we were out for dinner- she was reading and rehearsing her lines - and i remember it was about this piece of land that was abandoned or something like that and it went to describe all the things lying around the place - forgotten all of it basically (why did i use that word - here let me try something else) - MAINLY garbage and Pig Bollocks ...
funny huh...
must have Stunk Up the place ...
it was a British Play OBVIOUSLY!!
i HATE british people especially the ones who are in or above their THIRTIES and even the Youngers ones -
they all like to ACT smart and be Mr and Mrs/Miss KNOW IT ALLS and they talk so much - they dont understand anything - illogical and Pointless - no use in speaking SENSE cuz they seem to have this inevitable LACK of SIMPLE COMMON SENSE!!!
i hate them all...
The other day i was speaking to this Chick who starts screeming cuz her phone does not work - i slowly find out She has NOT put in the Battries or the SIM card.
another asshole calls in to complain that The SIM card is BIGGER than the Phone - (he has not broken it off the card it came in)
i spoke to another BITCH just now who has 2 phones and says SHE DOES NOT - best part - Both of them have been registered for A YEAR and 11 Months.
HOW did they manage to be Here in INDIA for so long - DUMB FUCKS!!!
with eyes closed and fingers crossed and Hopes to DIe i will Shut the (front)DOOR here.
AMEN!!!!

ummmm .... monica

2005-01-06T20:32:00.000+05:30

have you ever had coffee spilt on your pants - just wondering how it would feel if it was Panties !!! STOP! - concentrate on the Matter at Hand - matter at hand ?? - arghhh!!!!
(control mind and fingers on keyboard - kick the mind and keyboard abductor) :-)
Drama King!!! gosh!!!
umm so yeah - coffee on pants - not so great at all - looks more than jst Pee - worse cuz my pants are light green (synthetic track pant kinds)
imagine ..... (i hope you are picturising it well) :-)
guess what my comp went off and its back now so thats how i can type (clap clap clap)
- yeah so the coffee stain is more like the Monica and Clinton STAINED BLUE dress issue.
so Fukin embarassing (can i use Explicit LYRICS like that?? - i guess i can ....)
the Hand Shut will take place right here and NOW!!!